


As Long as She Survives

by Rin_the_Shadow



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Musicals)
Genre: Duty, F/F, Fake Betrayal, Friendship, Gen, Love, POV First Person, Puppeteering, Survivor Guilt, Tragedy, attempted fight to the death, cw: multiple major characters death, essentially 'i got uranus and neptune's betrayal song stuck in my head: the fanfic', mixed past and present tense, particularly beyond a certain point, somewhat stream of consciousness, sort of an idea dump in prose form, specifically the revision, suicide mission, very much set within the Eien Densetsu/Eternal Legend musical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:08:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26577334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rin_the_Shadow/pseuds/Rin_the_Shadow
Summary: Based on the stage musical Eien Densetsu (Eternal Legend).In the moments before she defects, Sailor Uranus reflects on her mission and what has brought them to this point. Anyone is expendable, as long as the Princess survives. And the Princess will survive only if Galaxia dies. So to ensure that...
Relationships: Kaiou Michiru/Tenoh Haruka, Mizuno Ami & Tsukino Usagi, Tenoh Haruka & Sailor Guardians, Tenoh Haruka & Tsukino Usagi, background Meioh Setsuna & Queen Beryl
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	As Long as She Survives

**Author's Note:**

> An advance notice, this fic mixes past and present tense, and does so with some frequency. 
> 
> Additionally, I don't think you necessarily NEED to watch the Eternal Legend musical (1998 Winter version) to understand what happens in this fic, but I'd probably recommend it anyway just for the actors' performances.

On the rooftop, as the storm thundered in the distance, we made our decision. Any of us is expendable, as long as the Princess survives. Sailor Mercury, once the only one of us who could not attack directly, had decided that. I suppose in some ways, I have someone more important to me than the Princess. But I understand our mission. I understand that Neptune and I do not have the capacity to restore as she does. In some ways, though, I had wondered if I had the capacity to let her become expendable. I suppose the truth is that if she is expendable, it is much easier for me to be as well.

In that space, where reality became illusion, it wasn’t hard to cut through the mud puppets. And yet somehow, those four, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter…ended up reaching Galaxia before us. They must have been able to outfight her underlings, at least. Yet, Neptune and I only arrived in time to watch them die.

How ironic. We were supposed to be the first line of defense against threats entering from outside the Solar System. Galaxia should never even have gotten to them. Yet here, we were the only ones left.

And the Princess…I don’t know if Usagi had caught wind of our plan, or if she had the same idea herself. It wouldn't surprise me either way. She always was too self-sacrificing for her own good. Of course she would be here. Of course, she would try to protect us.

I watched the horror on Mercury’s face as she realized Usagi was there. I listened to her desperate plea for Usagi to live on. I can understand the feeling, in some ways. If I had looked back and seen Michiru, I’m sure it would have been the same. And yet, at the same time, I don’t dare to claim it was the same for me, seeing her here then. Because I wasn't the one on the floor dying.

But even then, she insisted. Mars, Jupiter, Venus, all of them insisted. Usagi had to live on, and through her, so would they. Even as Galaxia ordered them to disappear, Mercury—no, Ami Mizuno—looked Usagi in the eyes and told her to live on.

I wish I could have given some of that same encouragement, but the only thing I could do was to steel Neptune and myself on towards our own destiny, and to insist that she do the same. My body felt almost numb. Though it was with some satisfaction that I saw Galaxia’s expression turn from triumph to fury at Mercury’s final words, at the extra energy she was forced to expend before she finally fell silent, before her body finally faded. If she truly was the weakest of us, then I hope Galaxia is terrified beneath that arrogant façade.

The soldiers’ mission fell to us, and in that moment, the thought crossed my mind not to go through with it. She was already here; we had as good as failed. But then, I understand our mission. I understand that she can restore, and whatever Michiru can do for me, she cannot restore the way the Princess can.

And beyond that, I hate wasting sacrifices. I like to think I understand their importance, even if incompletely. I’ve been willing to make them before. And truthfully? I would be furious if I found out someone had wasted mine.

Our Princess was already saying she didn’t want anymore sacrifices. She can’t change what’s already happened, and Neptune tried to tell her that. Anyone is expendable, as long as the Princess survives. We had decided that. And we cannot go back on it.

But the Starlights had already arrived. I don’t regret the disgust I felt on seeing them, and I can’t regret shouting back when they insisted Galaxia could not be beaten. Even if I know that throwing _their_ princess’s death back in their faces was wrong. But they had no right to diminish the others’ sacrifices, when they wouldn’t even make it themselves.

Those three…I can’t trust them to protect our Princess. I don’t know if I would ever have been able to entrust them with that. But I could already see Galaxia advancing again, and there weren’t many options left to remove her before those girls’ sacrifices became pointless. When Pluto and Saturn arrived, I wasted no time in turning Usagi's protection over to them. Even if they weren’t given the same mission as us, I knew they would take it. And perhaps it was even better that way. Neptune and I do not lack for firepower, but the Door of Space-Time and the power of death and rebirth are much more versatile. Should worst come to worst, they would have more options that us.

Of course, they didn’t want to leave us behind. Idiots. If they didn’t go, didn’t they know what Galaxia would do?

Anyone is expendable, as long as the Princess survives.

Neptune bade her to watch over us, and of course, she protested. But Pluto at least seemed to understand, and led her away as Galaxia accepted our challenge.

She had relied on ambush to kill the others. At least, that was what it seemed to me. So I had hoped her reliance on manipulation and the removal of Star Seeds would serve as some indication to her combat abilities. I quickly learned this was not the case. And in fact, against her, it was as if we were children, barely able to throw a punch.

I had hoped to kill her with my own hand. But using my power would do. Yet mine and Neptune’s power combined was deflected as if it was nothing.

Galaxia returned fire, and it was as if my body was burning. In that moment, I knew that there was no firepower which could match hers. And I hated this.

No matter what we could do, it would always be the same result.

If I could get in close enough, while she was standing there looking smug, I might have been able to strike a killing blow. It wouldn’t have been the most honorable victory. But at this point, I had no time for the condition of victory. Anyone is expendable, as long as the Princess survives. My pride can be so as well.

Yet she wouldn’t even come close enough to allow this opportunity. _Really?_ I wanted to spit. _You could approach Mercury and the others! Are you so pathetic you have to wait until we’re dying?_

But as her lackeys prepared the final blow, I threw myself in front of Neptune instead. I wasn’t breaking our vow. Even if she’s still expendable, isn’t it better to give her that chance to make that final strike I couldn't?

I don’t remember much of the minutes that followed. I know they didn’t have the chance to strike. That woman…the former queen of the Earth…Beryl? The one who had allied herself with Galaxia…who had been resurrected… Apparently she had only been used. I can't say I was surprised.

And of course, Galaxia had admitted it outright. Of course I would remember that. Of course I would remember that in that moment, I didn’t mind even if it was one of our enemies who killed her, just as long as she died for what she had done to the others.

I remember feeling her dark energy radiating through the room, the sound of Galaxia’s lackeys crying out. I remember that despite her ease at tearing through them, Beryl was still no match for Galaxia.

And I remember Pluto and Saturn returning. As Saturn maintained her barrier of silence, Pluto appealed to Beryl, insisting that they were the same. Appealing long past the point that I would have grown frustrated and given up on reasoning with her. And then, she and Saturn granted her passage to beyond space-time.

They really were the best to see our vow through to the end. But there was no way to tell them this with the time I had left.

If the only way to kill the devil is to become one yourself, then that was fine with me. Anyone is expendable as long as the Princess survives. And really, at this point, what other choice did I have?

When I offered Neptune the chance to join me, some part of me hoped she would refuse. I don’t know why I expected it. She remembers the vow as well as I do. Perhaps she’s more capable of going through with it. Or perhaps she simply knows I can’t go through with this without her, and won’t let me cross the gates of hell alone.

The Shadow Galactica seemed perfectly capable of making their own decisions. Why wouldn’t they be? Capable soldiers can’t be simple drones, not for the kind of work she had used them for, and not to be able to hold their own without her constant manipulation. It hadn’t been the case. I know it hadn’t.

It isn’t the case with me either. Yet…

I don’t know why I had expected the bracelet to dampen the effects of my Star Seed’s removal. It doesn’t. As it is ripped from me, I feel everything as if my own nervous system is being ripped out, but I don't hear my own cry. Or Neptune's. And Galaxia doesn’t control my every thought. But when the bracelet closes around my wrist, I wonder if there is something worse than losing your soul.

My words are mine. _This is my way of fighting_. And I want Pluto and Saturn out of my way so that I can go through with it. But they don’t understand. Or perhaps they understand it better than we do. They think we’re their opponents. And something is going wrong.

The bracelets _don’t_ control me. And yet…

My body doesn’t work correctly. It moves as it did before, though perhaps more deliberate. There’s a degree of thought behind moving with these bracelets on. And yet…

Anyone is expendable, as long as the Princess survives. I’ve included myself in that count, and I've ensured I would drag Neptune down with me. And yet…

I’ve been such a fool.

I can barely feel it as I take Pluto’s Star Seed…Or was it Saturn’s? Whose did I take?

I should know this. _Whose Star Seed did I take?_

The Starlights brought Usagi back. When did this happen? Shouldn’t they be gone? Didn’t they promise to take her away from here?

 _Whose Star Seed did I take?_ Why didn’t they fight back? Why didn’t they kill me? Wouldn’t I have killed them, had our situations been reversed?

_Why didn’t you kill me?_

Galaxia says we’re mindless puppets now. That isn’t true. Because I still have my own thoughts. I still have my own feelings, even if they don’t reflect on my face. I still have my own will, and I want to wipe that grin off _her_ face.

The Starlights won’t carry on our mission. Will they? They can’t. They couldn’t protect their own princess. I don’t think they can kill _me_. Or they won’t. I don’t know which. I don’t think it matters anymore.

Neptune lurches, and it's completely unfitting for her, but in that moment…

If Pluto, Saturn, and even Michiru have been added to my sacrifices, then…

Our hands brace against our wrists, and to Galaxia, it only looks like we’re too weak to handle the force of their fire. But it gives us that single ounce of control we need, lets us turn the blast on her. And in that moment, my body is _mine_.

“ _The Star Seed we’re taking is yours!”_ Even if it is so much less than what she deserves.

Even as she resists, I can see that same pain that racked my own body within hers. Does she intend to fight to keep her Star Seed? It won’t work. As Neptune’s and my own were removed, I know both of us fought, even as we intended to give them up. So maybe a soldier’s body will always fight to keep its Star Seed, but it never works. If it could have, I don’t believe any of the others would have died.

Somehow, I don’t feel the satisfaction I expected when she finally begins to give up. Relief, certainly. Regret, certainly, even if it isn’t for her. Anyone is expendable as long as the Princess survives. But that doesn’t mean it had to be…

But then, she stands upright, and Neptune realizes the truth of it before me. “You don’t have a Star Seed…”

No…

No…

That can’t be true…because if it is, then everything…

“How interesting. So there _are_ people my bracelets can’t control.” As if we’re nothing more than an interesting new experiment of hers.

My bracelet falls from my wrist, and I hear Michiru’s hit the floor. So…that’s it.

I hear the Starlights calling out to us, but I don’t know who’s speaking.

_These methods…_

_This is your way of fighting?_

_You think you're trying to be so noble…!_

There’s nothing noble about our methods. We do what we have to. No matter whose hands get bloodied in the process. In the end, aren’t we just a pair of fools?

“Who will protect the Princess now?” How funny. I can recognize Fighter in that moment.

I can’t make myself answer, but Michiru answers for me. “We entrust our Princess, and all our hope, to you.” It's the only option we have left.

It’s so strange. I had thought, when it had been my own plan, I thought that when we removed the bracelets, it would be faster than this. Incentive not to take them off, perhaps… Or maybe time for the others to see the example being made of you. I can't see Galaxia as the type to allow for last words.

But it's fine. I’m ready for this. I’ve long since accepted it as inevitable. Anyone is expendable, as long as the Princess survives, and yet…

“Neptune…” I find myself reaching for her, one last time. Just to look at her. I don’t want my last feeling to be hatred. I don’t want her last memory to be fear.

“Uranus…” She reaches for me, and in that moment, her hand clasps mine.

I had thought, that with our Star Seeds removed, our bodies would become cold. But her hand is warm.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to go ahead and admit, never once in any of the times I have ever thought about writing a Sailor Moon fanfic did I think that this would be my first. Haruka as the POV character? Sure. Writing THAT SCENE from the musicals? Nope. Not so much.
> 
> While I started watching the anime first, I completed the first stage of musicals before finishing it. As such, I saw Uranus and Neptune's betrayal first performed by Sanae Kimura and Hiroko Tahara. At the moment, I don't remember how it went in the 90's anime, but in the musical, the events preceding it were such that it made some degree of sense to me that they might feel like they were running out of options, and would take "Anyone is expendable, as long as the Princess survives" to extremes. Though, of course, I don't really want to excuse their methods as much as I wanted to explore a little of what might have been running through their minds throughout the musical.
> 
> I chose to end this one with their deaths because although they are revived later in the musical, as tends to happen, I felt it would drag what I had written on too much for something that is supposed to focus more on Haruka and Michiru, and it was already getting longer than I had intended it to. But I'm not necessarily opposed to writing a sequel focusing on that part.
> 
> In any event, please let me know what you think!  
> ~Rin


End file.
